The Story Beneath the Surface

Hey wild-hearted wanderer,

You might remember that a little while ago, we explored the idea of our core narrative through the lens of Human Design and I shared an example through Shawn Mendes' story —how the themes of his undefined G Center has shaped his journey of identity and self-discovery.

This morning, as I was contemplating the essence of what Human Design is, and the deeper self-awareness that this system brings forth, it made me think of our Not Self patterns, behaviours and habits. Ultimately, what they are is a form of self-protection. They’re coping strategies that may have at one time kept us safe. Although unhealthy and constrictive, there is something within these patterns and behaviours that provide us with a sense of safety, perceived sense of safety, I might add.

Today, I want to bring this concept of the core narrative closer to home. I want to tell you about my own and how these patterns and behaviours have governed my life.

The Story I’ve Lived By

For much of my life, my undefined Ego Center told me the same story on repeat: You’re not enough. You have to prove your worth. This narrative was unconscious—it was an undercurrent, quietly shaping my decisions, behaviours, and self-perception.

But the way it manifested in reality was my constant need to seek external validation in its many forms: getting good grades, keeping people happy, chasing the approval of others through being likable, and later, seeking follows, likes and comments on social media. I believed that if I could just achieve more or be more externally, then I’d finally feel worthy internally. If others liked me, then I’d feel worthy.

This need to feel worthy and valued has had a direct correlation to my self-doubt. In fact, it generally amplifies it when I find myself in comparison. And this pattern often leads to feelings of inadequacy which then shows up as a pattern of overextending myself and overpromising. The justification goes something like this: the more I give, the more valued I am, the more worthy I feel.

But it was never enough. No amount of external validation, acceptance and approval could fill that internal void. And until I understood this core thematic, until I’d become aware of it, I couldn’t see how deeply it was influencing my life.

The repetitive stories that I’d been telling myself for years had become my state of being. Seeking validation, approval and acceptance had become my default setting. These stories around worthiness had been so ingrained in my nervous system that I never even thought to question their validity. It was the truth I lived in. It was who I was.

The flip side of it all was that I accepted the lack of validation as proof that I wasn’t worthy. That I was the one with the problem. That I was the one who could never reach the societal norm around success and worth. That there was something wrong with me. I was the one who was never enough. I was the one who didn’t have any value. And I tried to compensate for it through doing more and being more, constantly chasing the external indicators of worth and value only to fall short time and time again.

The Power of Awareness

As you can see, this concept of our core narrative doesn’t just offer abstract ideas; it’s a deeply influential force in our lives with real consequences. Becoming aware of our core thematic can be shattering in the best way—it reveals the unconscious story we’ve been living by and gives us the opportunity to step out of the unhealthy loop and into alignment with our true self; the unique and differentiated being that we were born to be.

And the real transformation happens in the body.

When I connected the dots of my own narrative around self-worth, I started noticing when I was seeking external validation and each time it occurred offered me a conscious choice to a different way of being. It hasn’t always been easy—those old patterns still creep in. I still get triggered in certain situations. These old stories still activate a certain reaction in my body. But it is the combination of awareness and somatics that have allowed me to detach my self-worth from these patterns.

Cultivating body awareness and paying attention to the physical sensations in triggering moments of comparison and self-doubt have helped me hit pause and get curious instead of automatically casting shame and judgement. I pay attention to the common signs that let me know I’m seeking validation rather than showing up from a place of alignment. I try to get underneath the need that I think external validation might provide. And, most of the time, what’s underneath it is a lack of connection, to myself and/or others.

This shift has allowed me to start moving through life with more self-compassion and trust in my unique path. Doing this work and sharing my journey has evolved into establishing meaningful connections rather than stroking my own ego. It’s become a real source of self-expression rather than a search for acceptance and approval.

And breath has been a big part of that shift personally for it is my relationship with my breath that has helped me cultivate trust in my inherent worth. It is my relationship with my breath that has helped me cultivate a deeper self-connection, which then seeps into the external connections.

Why This Matters for You

Understanding your own core narrative doesn’t just help you see the story you’ve been living by—it empowers you to rewrite it. When you recognize the patterns shaped by your undefined centers, you gain the freedom to step out of them and into a life that feels more aligned, authentic, and easeful. But taking that level of self-responsibility demands courage. We’re asked to look at our own stories and explore with honesty and openness the patterns that have kept us stuck.

Exploring this level of awareness also asks us to cultivate self-trust and compassion. The aim is to not shame our past patterning but to seek forgiveness regardless of the stories. It’s an act of reclaiming our power from the narratives that have kept us spinning in circles. And breath can be used as the bridge to the conscious choices that help us rewrite these stories.

When we combine the awareness that Human Design offers with our own breath, we can begin to repattern these neural pathways, expand the capacity of our nervous system to embrace authenticity, and release the old stories that have kept us stuck in unhealthy patterns. We can begin to cultivate deep trust and confidence in our unique self-expression.

What’s Next

If you’re curious to learn more about the combination of Human Design and Conscious Connected Breathwork and how the two can help you reweave your old stories and patterns into a more empowered way of being, check out my website or book a 30-minute complementary connection call.

I’m curious: are you aware of your core narrative through the lens of Human Design? Do you know which center in your Human Design bodygraph highlights that for you? I’d love to hear from you.

Sending you a deep and nourishing breath,
Silvia