When Your Own Words Catch Up to You

I wrote those words a little while ago to this very community. Lately, they’ve been echoing back at me in a way that feel different. More embodied. Like they’re no longer just words I believe, but words I’m finally ready to live.

I know I say this a lot but something’s been shifting beneath the surface. Maybe that’s the 3rd Line way of doing life. Or maybe these are the deeper layers of deconditioning that are emerging. But I’ve been sitting with this quiet, persistent knowing that the structured offerings I’ve had on my website—the live sessions, the defined ways to work with me—no longer feel alive in my body.

I truly believe I’m not here to give you a conventional reading. It’s way too structured and limiting for this right mind of mine. I have a ton of knowledge and knowing within me but what I’ve been learning over and over again is that it needs to be pulled out of me. I need to move through these spaces as I move through the world—being in response. I don’t need the expectation of you coming for a conventional reading. That’s not where my strength lies.

There’s another element to this—doing live sessions. The more I’ve sat with it, and with each live session I have held thus far, I’ve noticed that there’s a contraction happening in my body, especially to the lead-up to it. Don’t get me wrong, I love exploring Human Design bodygraphs and chatting about the deconditioning journey, but what I love even more is exploring them on my own terms and in my own pace. And that has left me going against my own body rhythm, for the most part.

That tells me, something’s gotta shift. The structured live sessions on my website don’t feel true to my being right now. They haven’t for awhile.

And yet I’ve been holding onto them.

Why? Because they gave shape to my skills. They made sense at the time. They looked like the right “next step.” They offered structure, visibility, accessibility. They’re also something we’re trained to do once we gain our certificate and trust our knowledge base. We’re trained to get out there and offer it to the world. And honestly, that’s a very Cross of Planning way of existing. It’s a way that’s ingrained in us.

But underneath that structure, something in me was tightening. My body is reattuning. My sacral keeps whispering: this isn’t it anymore.

And honestly, between you and I, this hasn’t been it for a long time. In fact, this is a seed I sowed consciously back in 2023 during The Magician’s Table with Britten LaRue. And it’s taken me awhile to truly own it. To let go of the need to place my offerings within a structure rather than offering them space and seeing what emerges. To follow the well-trodden path of the healers and magical beings who’ve gone before me without questioning whether these ways feel true to my own being.

And so, I’m listening. I’m walking away from offering structured sessions for now. Not because I don’t want to be of service—but because I want to honour the ways I truly feel called to serve. Through what arises in the moment. Through what lights up my body. Through what makes space for creativity to move.

There’s something else trying to come through, but it needs space. Spaciousness. Fluidity. The kind that isn’t pre-booked or pre-packaged. The kind that lets the wisdom emerge rather than be scheduled into a time slot.

This isn’t easy. My undefined Spleen is whispering its fears: If I let this go, who even am I?
My mind tries to convince me: No one will find you if there’s no clear structure. No one will want to work with you if they don’t know what they’re getting.

And that may be so. And so it is. And I trust it’s for a reason.

But the deeper truth is this: I crave aliveness, not obligation. I crave presence, not performance. Aliveness and presence for me require spaciousness and slowness.

So here I am, wiping the slate clean. Letting go of what no longer feels aligned, in service of what might—what will—emerge.

It’s also interesting to note, as these stirrings are getting louder and harder to ignore, that Saturn is now in my 8th House. As is Neptune. And they’re both opposing my natal Sun. I’m also nearing the end of another Mars cycle with my natal 12th House Leo Mars and Venus conjunction.

In Human Design terms, both my Personality Mars and Venus are in the 29th gate of commitment. I feel like I’m being asked to lean deeper into embodying my true energetic nature and honour its pace and rhythm and its inherent need for spaciousness; and let go of the mental limitations that I allowed the world to put on me and this idea of how I’m supposed to expend my energy as a Sacral being.

As the transiting Saturn and Neptune are currently activating my Personality Earth in gate 25, there’s a deeper sense of getting grounded in the body, my Sun gate 46. To let that love of embodiment, of presence, of sacred pacing, guide me forward.

And I wonder…
What might you be holding onto out of obligation, identity, or expectation?
What no longer feels alive in your body?
What could shift if you made space for what truly wants to come through?

If it feels safe to do so, take a moment now to tune into your body.
Place one hand on your heart, and the other on your belly or solar plexus.
Read each of these questions slowly, one at a time.

Pause.
Notice any subtle sensations—tightness, spaciousness, warmth, contraction.
Where does the question land?
What do you feel in response?

Let your breath follow the sensation.
Inhale gently through your nose…
and exhale even more slowly through your mouth, like a soft release.

Repeat for each question.
You don’t need answers. Simply be present with what emerges.
This is a practice in listening.

This space will still be here. I’ll still be sharing what’s presently alive and emergent. It may not be on a set schedule as I’m leaning deeper into trusting my undefined Throat and feeling into showing up when it actually wants to express itself, but I cherish your presence. I’m grateful for you walking this path with me, alongside me. Thank you for being here.

And if ever something resonates deeply for you and you want to explore it further with me, do reach out. I’m still very much devoted to holding space and walking this untrodden path with you. But I’m more interested in doing it on my own terms. I want to do it in a way that feels good for my body. Because, ultimately, I need to feel embodied in order to show up in my power.

And that exploration begins here.

I’ve set up a short form for you to fill out. The form serves one simple purpose:
is working together aligned for the both of us?

I have no desire to serve everyone. I have no capacity to work with someone who is seeking a quick fix; someone who expects me to have the answers; who’s not ready to go deep and get honest with themselves; who’s stuck in their victim stories and afraid to take responsibility for their own part in it; someone who’s attached to external and material metrics for validation and approval; someone who’s not willing to slow down and listen to their body.

The space I hold is presence-led, spiralic, and intuitive. I carry a natural ability to reflect back potential, lighting a path through trust and discernment, not force. I don’t impose a method. I create an energetic sanctuary that allows you to hear your own inner wisdom more clearly. And the rest is up to you.

And that’s why I want to work with beings who are ready to reconnect with their own rhythm—people who are sensing that the old ways of forcing, proving, or performing no longer serve them, and who are curious about what becomes possible when they trust their body, their truth, and their inner compass.

If this resonates and you feel the pull to sit in presence with me, I’m here.

Sending you a deep and nourishing breath,

Silvia

Thank you for reading today’s letter. If you know someone who would benefit from hearing these words, please forward this letter to them. And if you want to explore more of my energetic frequency, feel free to visit the links below.