What If You're Here to Show Us a Different Way of Doing Things?

Hey wild-hearted wanderer,

I don’t often talk about the things I’ve done that now feel… cringey. Parts of me still hold shame around them all. But I feel like it’s time to start bringing them into daylight. Because here’s something I’ve realised: I used to think I could force my way into material success.

In the name of that, I’ve tried so many different things, both traditional and less so: multiple university degrees, door-to-door sales, and network marketing. I’ve tried launching one tiny product-based business after another. I even tried to become a professional proofreader once.

Each time, I told myself this would be the thing to set me free. Yet, I know now that none of them would offer me the spaciousness I was truly craving. Because the driving force of it all was desperation.

And it’s not that any one of those paths is inherently wrong. But for me the energetics were off. I know now that I wasn’t responding with a true desire. It was my mind that was leading me, seeped in fear and urgency.

I remember this one particular evening during my door-to-door sales shenanigans. We were somewhere in rural England. It was winter—cold, damp, and dark. I was knocking on doors that no one was opening. I kept circling back, hoping repetition would somehow shift the outcome. And finally, someone did open the door—only to scream at me. They were furious. Rightfully so. I’d disturbed their evening, maybe even their peace.

In that moment, something inside me cracked open. I knew I was done. But I didn’t leave right away. I kept pushing until my body started to rebel. And that seems to be another recurring theme in my life—I don’t stop until my body forces me to.

But that moment was the beginning of the end of the door-to-door experiment. I didn’t know it yet, but it has become one of the clearest examples of self-abandonment I can now name.

Even so, the obsession with escaping my day job still followed me around for years. And in my darkest moments, it still does. This is the part of my own embodied deconditioning that is taking its sweet ass time. They do say 3rd Lines often have to learn the same lesson over and over again until we get it. Perhaps this is mine. I’ll keep banging my head against that wall until either the wall cracks or I do.

But over the years, there are a few lessons I can clearly see now. I shared them on IG earlier today and I want to share them with you here too because I know many of you might not be on there.

Here goes.

Desire without embodiment is distortion.
When we override our body’s truth to follow our mental desires, we abandon our inner compass. We say yes before we’ve reached clarity. We convince ourselves something is aligned—because we want it to be.

There is no fast-track to our purpose.
When we try to force timing, we cut off our connection to the soul. We abandon mystery in exchange for control. But the body always knows when something isn’t ready to emerge yet.

Experimentation isn’t failure.
We’re taught to want the diamond without the rough. But what if our experiments are not missteps? What if for some of us, they’re simply detours that guide us closer to our truth?

Mental desires will never lead to aligned success.
When our choices are guided by what we think we should want, it’s easier to ignore the body. But that kind of success doesn’t feel good. It costs more than trusting life ever will.

Our life force energy is sacred.
What we give it to matters. Yet, so often, we stay loyal to the systems, people, or paths that look good from the outside. We keep going because quitting has never been presented as an option. But in doing so, we betray our own wildness.

So what does not abandoning myself look like these days?

Mostly, I lead with the body. I pause when the body says no. More often, I say no to anything and everything that is a no from the body. I’ve said no to forcing a path. I’ve “trained” myself to sit in confusion and discomfort without rushing to solve it. I now trust that the only certainty is uncertainty—and that I can live from there. Because if the answers are meant to find me, they will emerge in time.

We’re taught that purpose is about what we do.
But what if it’s about who we become
when we stop abandoning ourselves?

So if something in your life isn’t working—no matter how hard you’ve tried to make it work—maybe it’s because this is not your path to walk in this lifetime. Maybe you’re not here to force your way through a broken system. Maybe you’re here to show us a different way. One that honours your body. One that moves from truth and not urgency or desperation or fear. One that lets you live a life on your own terms.

I’ll leave you with a few prompts:

• What’s one way you’ve abandoned your own truth in pursuit of a goal that wasn’t yours?

• Where in your life are you convincing yourself something is aligned—because you want it to be?

• What would it look like to honour your sacred energy this season?

No pressure to answer, but I’d absolutely love to hear what’s one “cringey” thing you’ve done that has actually been part of your sacred detour?

Sending you a deep and nourishing breath,

Silvia

Your Living Body Map is a permission slip
for the deep feelers, the tired hustlers,
the wild-hearted wanderers and the slow-laners
to take a breath and say “I can do this my way.”

It’s an invitation to remember why you came here for.

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