This Wasn't Something I Set Out to Create

Dear wild-hearted wanderer,

Today, I want to take you behind the scenes and tell you about the origin of Your Living Body Map and how its spiralic unfolding is showing me its true meaning and depth.

The truth is, I didn’t set out to create this but through my various self-reflections and explorations, through witnessing the mental struggle that so many of us go through when we come to a system like Human Design, and through my own studies with the New School of Human Design as well as breathwork and nervous system repair, something wanted to express through me.

I realised that most of us don’t need more information. What we need is a different approach to the information we already have. What we need is to rebuild trust with ourselves and the bodies we inhabit.

It was initially through my history research that this idea of a living story landed in my body. I explored it in more depth in this piece. But what I ultimately came to was that my historic research is very much body-led. It’s initiated from frequency rather than cognitive understanding.

History, to me, is no longer a mere academic concept but a living organism.

This whole exploration and the deepening of my mechanical contemplations on the bodygraph itself made me see our design as a living organism too. The bodygraph is not something we can break into pieces and for that individual piece then to bring us answers. Although that’s absolutely needed too if we want to learn to read them.

But more so, our bodygraph is a frequency-based map, a living organism that shows us the currents
that run through us.

This knowing has solified within me as I’ve started to explore the individual modalities that make up the Human Design system. These explorations started with Kaballah, the Tree of Life.

So far, the teachings of a book called Mystical Qabalah have revealed to me that gates and channels are relational frequencies. It’s not simply learning the stand-alone meaning of them, rather, they are in a contextual relationship with each other and the centers they originate from. Therefore, we have to understand these elements in their relationship with the whole.

What the text is also teaching me is that living your design is not about learning the meaning of all the elements. Rather, living your design is a remembrance. It’s experiencing life as a path of return to our true selves and not just “following” a system.

Our sacred journey is to surrender to the current that flows through us and allow it to express its beauty.

The conclusion I am slowly coming to at this point in my own journey is that the bodygraph is the map to our soul’s embodiment. It’s a living landscape that pinpoints us toward what we’re here to express.

In Kaballah, there are ten Sephirot that make up the Tree of Life. Each one of the spheres pinpoints to a universal basic essence or quality. What if we explored the bodygraph through a similar lens? What if each one of the elements within it is a basic essence or quality that wants to be expressed through us?

Since the Tree of Life is one of the modalities that was synthesised into the Human Design system, it has been fascinating to learn about the ancient tradition that lended its magic to something that resonates with so many of us. And it’s not that I’m looking for a direct comparison between the two modalities. What I’m finding and attuning to is that they are not the same—and that’s not the point—but they do tend to map the same terrain. What it comes down to is not the sameness but the resonance.

And the bigger realisation within it is that no matter what system or modality we find ourselves pulled towards, there are certain universal themes and qualities that bind them all. The connection between them is not about the sameness but the universal truths they hold. Each one reverberates with the same longing to understand the meaning of life and the mystery of being human.

I feel like this is a full-circle moment, in a way. The historical research that I was conducting earlier this year showed me that cultivating safety in our bodies is directly connected to cultural repair. When we restore body safety on an individual level, our nervous system will become flexible enough to meet the world with openness and curiosity. We become a collective of grounded individuals who honour contradiction and diversity. We’re able to hold difference instead of reacting to justify, defend, perform or attack. And that shift will ripple out into the wider field.

At least that’s the vision I’m holding for the humanity.

And that’s where embodied deconditioning came to be. That’s where the realisation of the re-regulation of our individual nervous systems came to be foundational for the process of deconditioning. Because a lot of the times, our bodies simply don’t feel safe enough to honour these beautiful currents that run through us. So we hide, suppress, mask and numb out our beauty, our unique way of being and expressing the essence only we can. But we were born in these beautiful bodies to express our uniqueness. And it breaks my heart witnessing the opposite.

So really, there has been no grand plan or strategy to launch Your Living Body Map. It’s most certainly not been a linear process. And it’s a process that keeps unfolding as my own journey does along with the beautiful souls who are called to do this work with me.

I have slowly arrived at a point where I’ve started to think of the bodygraph as our living body map, a living, breathing organism, a map of energetic currents that flow through and within us. The whole process has felt more like a remembering than a landing on a business idea. There is a strong knowing in my body that this matters, even though I have no idea why yet.

And you know what the biggest difference has been internally? I have never felt so calm and grounded about an offering. I have never felt such lack of urgency in terms of getting it out there and having it been “sold out”. Because this offering is truly the first one that hasn’t had my undefined ego involved. There is nothing to prove with it. There is no rush. Because this is so much bigger than the sales. I’m in it for the long-haul. I’m here for the many iterations this offering will go through for as long as it’ll want to be here.

And piece by piece, I have begun to feel what it’s been pointing to. I keep returning to the same inquiries:

How can we truly experience the world, if we cannot be in our bodies?
How can we expect change in the external, if we cannot hold the internal shift?
How do so many of us approach Human Design like a system to study and give us answers, rather than a rhythm to live?
How easily do we bypass our bodies in the name of Strategy and Authority?
How deeply we really want to trust ourselves, but why do we keep looking outward for that how?

I see these things in others just as I have seen them in myself. Even with all the knowledge, I still spiral into doubt. I still abandon my sacral knowing. I still force things to happen. I still initiate from mental desires. I still seek mental clarity even though I know that clarity has no timeline.

What I really need in these moments is to return to my living body map, to the energetic currents that are running through me and want to be expressed through me.

Because that’s what this is. That’s what the name of this offering knew before I did.

And so the bodygraph has started to reveal itself to me as a sacred landscape, a mandala to contemplate on rather than a manual to follow. Each of the elements is not a rigid part to be figured out, but they’re frequencies in relationship with each other, moving with and through the body.

And I know now that Your Living Body Map was never going to be a template or a step-by-step method. It was never going to be an automatic download one gets after they’ve pressed the “Purchase” button. It has always asked to be a personal sanctuary, from its creation to its final home with the human who’s said yes to it.

It’s a place to come to when we’ve veered off course. It’s a cave we enter when we need to reconnect with our own truth. It’s a wellspring to drink from when our trust has run dry. A space to breathe and come back into our own pace and rhythm. A place we can become more of who we are.

And yet, this guidebook isn’t here to tell you who you are. I’m not interested in being that person. I’m more interested in creating spaces where being yourself is really the only option. Spaces where you don’t have to put a guard up, where you don’t have to hide your truth. Where you can simply be as is and know that it’s enough. Because that’s where the magic happens!

So if the name speaks to something in you, if it lands in your belly or heart or bones before your mind gets a chance to butt in, then maybe you’re already on the path of your return.

Take this as an invitation to feel what’s moving in you without the need to figure it all out. Because your body already knows. Allow it to soften so that what’s meant for you will have space to come into your life.

You don’t have to respond with words but if you feel like there’s something stirring in you, something that wants to be named and heard, my inbox is open.

Sending you a deep and nourishing breath,

Silvia.

P.S. I’m curious: how do you feel about these behind-the-scenes emails? Does reading about my process serve you or does it feel too self-indulgent? Would you like to see more of these kind of letters? I’d love to hear your feedback!

Your Living Body Map is a permission slip
for the deep feelers, the tired hustlers,
the wild-hearted wanderers and the slow-laners
to take a breath and say “I can do this my way.”

It’s an invitation to move at the pace of your truth.

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